Montag, Mai 11, 2009

57 ways of winning your husband's love

Müde und abgekämpft habe ich heute mein Heim wieder erreicht und mich sehr darauf gefreut, Frau und Hund in die Arme zu nehmen. So eine familiäre Wiedervereinigung nach ein paar Tagen ist schön, birgt aber auch Gefahren für die Beziehung. Mann ist müde von der langen Nacht und Frau möchte Mann subito auf den neusten Stand der Dinge bringen.

Damit diese heikle Gratwanderung auch gelingt, hat die "Saudi Gazette" am 4. Mai unter der Rubrik Lebenshilfe eine Checkliste mit 57 Punkten aufgeführt. Ich möchte den Lesern die Liste nicht vorenthalten:

This list, mostly contributed by Muslim women at the MuslimMatters.org blog, is all about winning your husband’s love.
1. Behave like a female, i.e. with all the tenderness of a female.
2. Dress pleasantly and attractively. If you are a home-maker, don’t stay in your sleeping suit all day.
3. Smell good.
4. Don’t lay out all your problems on your husband as soon as he walks in. Give him a little mental break.
5. Don’t keep asking him ‘what are you thinking?’ because
unlike women, men’s thoughts are as random as the results
of a google search. Women on the other hand have thoughts
as organized as a labeled file-cabinet!
6. Stop nagging non-stop before Allah gives you something
really to complain about.
7. Absolutely no talking about your spousal problems to anyone
you meet under the pretense of seeking help, even if you are
the victim. If you think you want to solve legitimate marital
issues then go seek counseling with the right person.
8. Be kind to your mother-in-law the same way you would like
your husband to be kind to your own mother.
9. Learn all the rights and obligations of each other in Islam.
10. Race to the door when he comes home, as if you were
waiting for him. Smile and hug.
11. Keep your house clean, at least to the level that he wants it.
12. Compliment him on the things you know he’s not so
confident about (looks, intelligence etc). This will build his
self-esteem.
13. Tell him he’s the best husband.
14. Call his family often.
15. Give him a simple task to do at home and then thank him
when he does it. This will encourage him to do more.
16. When he’s talking about something boring, listen and nod
your head. Even ask questions to make it seem like you’re
interested.
17. Encourage him to do good deeds.
18. If he’s in a bad mood, give him some space. He’ll get over it,
Insha Allah.
19. Thank him sincerely for providing you with food and shelter.
It’s a big deal.
20. If he’s angry with you and starts yelling, let him yell it out
while you’re quiet. You will see your fight will end a lot
faster. Then when he’s calm, you can tell him your side of
the story and how you want him to change something.
21. When you’re mad at him, don’t say ‘you make me furious,’
rather say, ‘this action makes me upset.’ Direct your anger to
the action and circumstance rather than at him.
22. Remember that your husband has feelings, so take them into
consideration.
23. Let him chill out with his friends without guilt, especially if
they’re good guys. Encourage him to go out, so he doesn’t
feel cooped up at home.
24. If your husband is annoyed over a little thing you do (and
you can control it), then stop doing it.
25. Learn how to tell him what you expect without him having
to guess all the time. Learn to communicate your feelings.
26. Don’t get mad over small things. It’s not worth it.
27. Make jokes. If you’re not naturally funny, find some jokes on
the internet.
28. Tell him you’re the best wife and compliment yourself on
certain things you know you’re good at.
29. Learn to make his favorite dish.
30. Don’t ever, ever talk bad about him with friends or family
unnecessarily.
31. Use your time wisely and get things accomplished. If you’re
a housewife, take online classes and be active in your
community. This will not only make you happy but will
impress your husband too.
32. Do all of the above (i.e. trying to please your husband) for
the sake of Allah and you will see Allah’s blessings in every
thing you do.
33. Spouses are garments for each other; hide your husband’s
faults and help him get over them wisely.
34. Tell your husband you love him, many many times.
35. Have a race with your husband and let him win, even if you
are much fitter than him.
36. Be fit and take care of your health; you will remain a strong
mother, wife, cook and housekeeper.
37. Cultivate good manners. Do not be too loud, whether while
laughing, talking or even walking.
38. Do not leave the house without his permission and certainly
not without his knowledge.
39. Make sure all his clothes are clean and pressed so they
always look fresh and crisp.
40. Ask Allah to strengthen and preserve the bonds of
compassion and love between the two of you, every day in
every prayer. Truly Satan’s most treasured act is to create
rifts between couples to the point of divorce. Seek Allah’s
refuge from Satan.
41. They say the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach,
and that’s really true.
42. Make sure you always have something for dinner.
43. Brush your hair everyday.
44. Don’t forget to do the laundry.
45. Surprise him with gifts. Even necessities can be gifts, like a
pair of new shoes.
46. Listen to him when he’s talking. Don’t interject him and talk
about your own issues.
47. Try (hard as it might be) to take interest in his hobbies
(bowling?). Try not to go shopping too much and spend all
his money.
48. Look attractive and it’s fine, in fact good, to be seductive
towards him.
49. Learn tricks and techniques to please your husband in
intimacy.
50. Prepare for special evenings with him with special dinner
and exclusive time (no children permitted).
51. Take care of your skin, especially the face, which is the
center of attraction.
52. If you are not satisfied intimately, talk to him and help him.
Don’t wait till matters become worse.
53. Never discuss important or controversial matters with him
when he is tired or sleepy. Find the right time for the right
discussion.
54. Learn to compromise.
55. Continue to do things for your husband and don’t take him
for granted.
56. Respect his rights (he’s your road to paradise).
57. Make tea for him or whatever hot drink he likes, it will
soothe his rough edges.

... für die Männer hat es auch etwas: 81 ways to win your wife’s love

Kommentare:

  1. "men’s thoughts are as random as the results of a google search"

    oder:
    Wie soll ich wissen was ich denke, bevor ich gelesen habe was ich gegoogelt habe.

    Herrlich dämlich!

    AntwortenLöschen
  2. there are 50 ways to leave your lover but only 6 (or 8 or ...) ways out of this aircraft

    AntwortenLöschen
  3. Habe ich das richtig verstanden?
    81 ways to win your wife’s love
    aber nur
    57 ways to win your husband’s love
    Wo bleibt denn da die Gerechtigkeit? :-):-)

    AntwortenLöschen
  4. Danke für den Einbrick in andere Wertesysteme, auch wenn einen so manches auf die Palme bringt! Boah, der Abschuß ist Nr. 56!

    AntwortenLöschen